


A Mistletoe Masquerade

by sunsetmog



Category: Panic At The Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Romance Novel, M/M, Not Fic, Regency Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-31 02:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetmog/pseuds/sunsetmog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not fic: In which Jon is shunned by society, Ryan is a recluse, Spencer is just back from his Grand Tour, and Brendon is a valet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mistletoe Masquerade

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://sunsetmog-fics.livejournal.com/48418.html) in December 2009.
> 
> This is a mixture of actual fic, email chat!fic, fic notes and slightly elaborated [stuff goes here]. It also changes tense part-way through, so try and ignore that. Vaguely based on a romance novel I read last Christmas of the same name.

The Honourable Spencer Smith, future Viscount Newbury, was tired, soaked through to the skin, and filthy. He'd ridden hard straight from the boat at Hull, only stopping to change horses twice along the road and to bite back a quick lunch as he waited for his horses to be saddled up at The Red Hart, near Harrowgate. 

The rain had started mid-morning, and by the time Spencer was within a half hour of Ryan's estate, it was heavy enough that Spencer was struggling to see where he was going. If Spencer didn't know this road like the back of his hand, he would have been hard-pressed to find his way in the terrible weather.

He pushed his horse harder, urging him forward over the muddy road. His horse stumbled, and Spencer swore, slowing his pace. He might know the road, but his horse didn't, and even so, it had been a full twelve month since Spencer had ridden this way. 

It had been too long since he'd been home, too long since he had last seen Ryan. 

Spencer had begged Ryan to accompany him on his grand tour, but Ryan had steadfastly refused. Spencer hadn't wanted to go without Ryan—they'd been best friends since they were young boys growing up on adjoining estates, and the very idea of Spencer touring alone seemed _wrong_ —but Ryan had continued to refuse Spencer's entreaties, citing family responsibilities. His father was sick—the _drink_ , Spencer's mother said, quietly—and Ryan wouldn't leave him, despite Spencer's pleading. Spencer had even offered to pay, though that made Ryan's brow furrow and his eyes darken. 

Spencer had left England without having been able to change Ryan's mind, and although Spencer had written many times, from all across Europe, it hadn't been the same as being able to _see_ his best friend. Ryan's letters tended to follow him from one place to another, the direction continually adjusted as Spencer travelled, the news sometimes months out of date before the letters caught up with him. 

Spencer had known something had been wrong the moment he'd received Ryan's last letter; the seal hadn't been Ryan's own, but that of his father, the Viscount Summerlin, George Ross. For Ryan to have started using his father's seal meant only one thing; that Ryan had acceded to the title of Viscount and that Ryan's father was dead. 

Spencer had hurriedly scanned the letter but it contained no information about Ryan's father or his new title. Spencer must have missed a letter, missed _the_ letter, the one Ryan must have sent informing Spencer that his father had died. Spencer cursed himself for ever listening to his parents and leaving for his Grand Tour without Ryan. He'd read the letter again, trying to ascertain how Ryan was from what he _wasn't_ saying. 

_Mother is intent on my marrying_ , Ryan wrote, in his dark, cursive hand. _I want nothing more than to be left by myself_.

Spencer had sworn. Spencer's family may have been richer and their estate larger, but Ryan's family name had been much better respected before his father's ill-advised marriage. Spencer had never been able to ascertain what had happened to exile Ryan's mother from the family home, but she'd retired to her mother's dower house in the north of England when Ryan had been small, and as far as Spencer had been aware, she hadn't visited Ryan since. Spencer thought she might have written once or twice, but Ryan had never shown him the letters.

Ryan had never had many friends other than Spencer; He'd had a tutor instead of going up to school and after his eighteenth birthday he'd deliberately stayed on the estate with his father rather than taking up residence in London. He was quiet and bookish and uneasy in company, and he'd had to deal with the heavy responsibility of his father's death alone. 

Spencer had cut his tour short and made plans to set out for England as soon as he'd heard. He'd received a letter from his own mother just before his departure and she'd confirmed all that Spencer had surmised—that Ryan's father had died and that Ryan was no longer the Honourable Ryan Ross, but Lord Ross, Viscount Summerlin, and that his mother had return from the barren north to take up residence with Ryan. 

His mother had written, _I fear her reputation is deserved_. Spencer remembered the whispers, _vulgar, indelicate_.

He'd travelled quickly, stopping only to sleep and eat, taking a boat from northern France and landing in Hull before daybreak. He'd ridden for Ryan's without a thought of stopping at his parents' house; he rode past their driveway with only a hurried glance towards the wood which hid his house from direct sight of the road. 

He rides for Ryan's without stopping at his parents' house. He thinks his parents may be in town. He doesn't care to check, not right now, so he climbs down from his horse at Ryan's front door without knowing whether his parents are a mile and a half to the north or not. He hasn't seen them in over a year, but Ryan's his best friend. 

Ryan stumbles out on to the step. "Spencer?" he says, and Spencer's pulling him in for a hug without dropping the reins of his horse. 

Later on, when Ryan's stood and watched Spencer brush down his horse and stable him for the night, they sit by the fire in the library and let the candles burn down. 

"She wants me to make a good marriage," Ryan says, fingering the spine of his book. 

Spencer raises his eyebrows. Ryan's mother wants him to marry for money, that much is clear. Ryan's father paid her a good annuity, it seems, but Ryan can't support his mother, not now his father's debtors need to be paid off. 

"I just want to stay here and read my books and live out the rest of my days here," Ryan says, with a sigh. "You could come and stay," he tells Spencer, nudging Spencer's shin with his toes. 

"I'd like that," Spencer says, with a yawn. It's been a long few days. 

"I can have a room made up for you," Ryan says. 

"Please," Spencer says, sleepily. 

~*~

A letter arrives during breakfast the following morning. Ryan takes it with some trepidation and Spencer pauses over his bacon. 

"It's from my godfather," Ryan says, as he opens it. Ryan's godfather is a friend of Ryan's father; as far as Spencer knows, he hasn't been in contact with Ryan since he was a baby. 

"And?" Spencer asks. So far as Spencer can work out, Ryan's mother and godfather are working together to engineer Ryan's betrothal to the Earl of Something. The Earl was certainly rich, and a widower, but there was a _reason_ why he remained unmarried five years after the death of his wife. The Earl had retired to the country and hadn't ventured out in public since. Rumours had been rife about the cause of his wife's death; she'd been found thrown from her horse in the grounds of a neighbour's estate. Rumours abounded about how she'd died, and her husband's part in her death. She'd left a child behind, a baby girl, weeks old. 

The very last thing that Spencer wanted for his best friend was to be wedded to a shadowy, silent, mysterious Earl just to support his mother's lifestyle. Spencer hated the thought of Ryan betrothed to such a man. 

"I'm invited to a party," Ryan says. "To get to know Walker better."

Spencer rolled his eyes. "You don't want to marry such a man, Ryan."

Ryan shrugs. "No," he says, "But what can I do?"

"I'll think of something," Spencer says. 

Spencer's determined to do something to ensure that Ryan doesn't have to marry Jon Walker. He's worried about Ryan. He's not even sure Ryan's spoken to anyone outside his household since the death of his father; the last thing Ryan needs is to be married to be someone and have to move to a different part of the country where he won't know anyone. Spencer's _worried_ about him. Ryan's been so quiet since Spencer's return; he looks pale and tired. He doesn't deserve any more unhappiness, and the last thing Ryan needs is to be dragged into a relationship where he ends up being a substitute parent for Jon Walker's motherless child. 

~*~

"I think I've got an idea," Spencer says. 

~*~

Spencer doesn't think that this was the best idea he's ever had. Wanting to find out more about Jon Walker was one thing; going undercover as Ryan's valet at Ryan's house party so that he can find out the truth from the servants is another. 

"This isn't going to work," Ryan says, as Spencer practices tying Ryan's tie for the twentieth time. 

"Of course it is," Spencer lies, straightening Ryan's necktie. "There. A perfect waterfall."

Ryan raises an eyebrow. "A _passable_ waterfall. Try it again."

Spencer shrugs. "Maybe Walker doesn't want to marry an untidy man." 

~*~

Spencer becomes Ryan's valet (Spencer's been out of the country and hasn't been seen by society for a while, and definitely not with a beard. Everyone knows that beards are a totally excellent disguise) and he's quite low down the social ladder working for Ryan. He meets the Walker's valet, a handsome smiling man named Brendon, who grins at him from the stairs. 

Spencer tries to put Jon Walker off Ryan by feeding Brendon stories of Ryan's general rubbishness. 

There's attraction between Brendon and Spencer straight off, even though Spencer's trying to make Ryan sound like a bad marriage.   
\- he's scatter brained  
\- he spends all day reading  
\- doesn't like children  
\- or cats  
\- gambles

Brendon is forward and sure of himself and sure of Spencer's attraction to him. Spencer's hoping that Brendon is feeding Spencer's information back to Jon, but Jon doesn't seem put off by it—he still talks to Ryan. 

Meanwhile, Brendon and Spencer learn about flirting and sarcasm and sniping and one-up-man-ship and there's lots of angst about being in love with someone they shouldn't be in love with (they're only a valet! I'm of noble blood!) and stolen, heated, kisses below stairs. 

Brendon and Spencer are both working the evening of the end of party ball, and can't attend the actual ball so they sneak out onto the darkened terrace around the side of the house, where they can hear the music through the open doors to the ballroom, by the other side of the house. They dance, Brendon confident and Spencer smiling. They're both unsure of how they feel but it's the waltz that cements things for them. By the end of the dance they're kissing on the terrace. 

Spencer says, "Let's go somewhere else."

Brendon says, "Are you sure?"

(He's done this more than Spencer, Spencer can tell. Spencer just. Hasn't. He knows what happens; he's a lot more worldly than say, Ryan. He just. Hasn't.)

"Are you sure?" Brendon asks. 

"I can't marry you," Spencer tells him. "It's not possible."

"I can't marry you either," Brendon says, and Spencer doesn't know why that hurts so much. 

"So it's just today," Spencer says, desperately. "I've never felt like this before," he admits. 

"Me neither," Brendon admits, quickly. 

They go back to Brendon's room and take their clothes off and kiss feverishly, desperately, before tumbling back onto the bed. 

It's like they know this is the only way they can do this, that this has to be the best it can be. Afterwards, they don't fall asleep, holding each other close and kissing. 

"I have to go," Spencer says, after he hears the clock strike two. The noise from the ballroom is decreasing; Spencer is supposed to be Ryan's valet and he has to be in Ryan's room to help him undress. 

"One more minute," Brendon says, pulling him back down onto the sheets. Spencer can't help but kiss back. 

He puts his clothes on and then Brendon pushes him back against the wall, kissing desperately. 

Spencer's always been so sure of himself, so in control, he feels like he's been blindsided. "No," he says, finally, tearing himself away. 

He runs down the landing to the back staircase and then along the corridor to Ryan's room. 

Ryan's there, poking the remains of the fire. 

"Sorry," Spencer says. "Sorry I wasn't here."

And Ryan says, "Spencer, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Spencer says, "Nothing." And then he busies himself with Ryan's clothes, and although Ryan watches him and sees Spencer's shaking fingers, he doesn't say anything else. 

Afterwards, Spencer goes back to his room and stays awake until dawn, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. 

The day after, they have to leave, and they pick up their valets and Spencer's actual belongings from the inn along the way. Spencer doesn't see Brendon again, just a glimpse of the back of his head as they pack Lord Walker's belongings into his coach. It hurts so hard he can barely breathe. It crosses his mind that there's nothing to stop him marrying Brendon, but he'd have to forfeit his inheritance. He shakes his head. It's a stupid idea. 

He busies himself with Ryan's trunks. 

Ryan and Spencer spend the next month apart, writing each other letters. Spencer stays in town, and when he gets home, he rides around his father's estate; it's been a year since he's been here. 

It was easier to pretend that everything is okay when Ryan isn't there to see him. 

Ryan's back in the country at his father's house. Spencer isn't his only correspondent; Jon has been writing too. Ryan is surprised—he'd thought Spencer's machinations had worked. 

But maybe Ryan wasn't quite so against him as he once was. Jon had been nothing but polite and interested in him, asking him about books and his father's estate. 

But he hadn't made a declaration and Ryan had been sure that that was it, until the letters had arrived, friendly letters detailing his estate and Eliza's lessons and how the cats had had kittens. They don't promise anything, Jon's letters, but they're friendly and Ryan can't quite believe that all the rumours about Jon and his dead wife can be true. 

After a few weeks he invites Ryan and a friend to come stay at his house for a fortnight. 

Ryan sends a message to Spencer and invites him with him as a guest, telling Spencer that Jon's got a new valet. Spencer agrees—because no one will know that Spencer was Ryan's valet, especially now that his beard is gone. 

They arrive at Jon's estate, and Jon's out dealing with an Estate problem, leaving a message that he's sorry that he missed their arrival but to make themselves comfortable and avail themselves of the library or the games room. 

Spencer—who's tired and out of sorts—retires to his bedroom for a sleep. He wants to see Brendon, and at the same time he doesn't ever want to see him again because he loves him and he misses him. He can't understand why he no longer works for Jon. 

Ryan retires to the library and meets Eliza there, who's escaped her nurse. When Jon comes in later it's to find the two of them reading together by the fireplace. 

(Eliza, however, is a six year child with dark, curly hair and glasses. She loves Jon a whole lot and misses him greatly when he's not there. She carries a ragged blanket with ribbons at each corner, she likes books and reads well. She wears glasses and is very quiet. She's apprehensive around anyone who isn't Jon—including Brendon—and is very quiet with Jon. When she finally meets Ryan they're very quiet to each other, assessing and weighing the other up. They sit together by the fire, both with their books, and Ryan offers to read to her, but she asks questions or looks bored so he ends up telling her made up stories about the animals who live in the forest and their adventures.)

Jon watches for a moment, then says, "Hello Eliza, did you escape your nurse again? Are you troubling Ryan?"

"Not at all," Ryan says, surprised. "We've been reading together." Ryan is reserved and Eliza is shy and unused to company; Jon has spent a long time trying to stay aloof; their few letters have been very different and they smile awkwardly at each other. 

"Thank you for inviting me," Ryan says, carefully. He fingers the spine of the book he's reading. 

"And your friend?" Jon asks. "The Honorable Spencer?"

"He's retired to freshen up," Ryan explains, thinking that saying Spencer's taking a nap probably won't go down too well. He'll be down for dinner. 

They eat dinner and Ryan and Jon make tentative conversation. They clearly like each other's conversation but they're still unsure and cautious around each other. 

Spencer is tired and quiet, wondering how he can ask about Brendon, whether he can let himself. 

Spencer retires early and Jon and Ryan sit by the fire and talk. They're somewhat closer to the mood they'd found in their letters. It's nice. 

They walk around the grounds in the morning, Jon and Ryan and Spencer. Spencer's out of sorts (missing Brendon and hoping he's okay) and Ryan keeps looking at him worriedly. 

"I hope you don't mind," Jon says, as they sit for lunch, "but I invited a friend over for dinner and to stay this evening. My best friend, the youngest son of Lord Urie. He has a house a few miles away from here but I've persuaded him to stay and make a four for whist. You do play, don't you Ryan?"

"Very badly," Ryan admits. 

They spend the afternoon mostly in the company of Eliza and Jon's new puppy, Marley, who Eliza clearly adores. Eliza's a nice child, quiet and reserved, but Spencer remembers his own sisters and talks to her. She's more comfortable around Ryan, even if they don't speak so much. 

"I worry for her," Jon admits, after her nurse has come to collect her and take her back to the school room for her dinner and an early bed. "What future can I offer her?"

Ryan very shyly tucks his hand into the crook of Jon's elbow. "You are a good father," he says, and Jon flushes pink. Spencer thinks that maybe Jon and Ryan make a better couple than he'd initially given them both credit for. Ryan needs someone like Jon, and it looks like Jon needs someone like Ryan, too. 

Spencer lets Ryan and Jon walk off in front. He lets his mind wander. 

When he gets to the Billiards room, Spencer's greeted by the sight of Jon hugging a dark haired man and clapping him on the back. Ryan's watching them, wide-eyed. 

"Spencer," Ryan says, breaking off. 

Jon pulls away, and it's Brendon, it's _Brendon_. 

Brendon stares at him. 

"Brendon Urie," Jon says, "This is Ryan's friend, the Honorable Spencer Smith, -"

" _Spencer_ ," Brendon says, softly. 

"Oh," Jon says. "Do you two know each other?"

Spencer swallows. "No," he says, as Brendon says, _yes_. 

Jon just looks confused.

"No," Brendon amends. 

"You're not Jon's valet," Spencer says. Jon looks startled. 

"And you're not Ryan's," Brendon says. "You lied to me."

"You lied to _me_ ," Spencer says, fiercely. 

And then they stand and look at each other and Spencer thinks, _I was going to give it all up for you, I was going to come here and marry you anyway_. 

He turns and walks out of the room, unable to stay there any longer, regardless of how rude it is to leave Jon's presence like that. 

~*~

It doesn't get much better. They are barely civil with each other, sharp and snappy. A furrow grows between Jon's brows as the days progress, as dinners pass with Spencer speaking only to Ryan and Jon, and Brendon talking only to Jon, and sometimes Ryan. Eliza holds Jon's hand and curls up on his lap in front of the fire and Spencer feels bad, he really does, but he can't stop. He's so _angry_. He's furious that he's been made a fool of, that all this time Brendon wasn't who he thought he was, but he's angry at himself, too, because he lied too. He lied and he told Brendon he was someone he wasn't, and he's never been this angry. He hates himself because even though he tells himself he doesn't want anything to do with Brendon, he can't stop staring at him. He falls asleep thinking about him and wakes up thinking about him, but that just serves to make him _angrier_. 

Even Ryan's exasperated with him. "The two of you are being stupid," he says. 

"We're not," Spencer says. "I don't want anything to do with him. How is that hard to understand?"

Ryan lets out a long breath. "Jon's asked me to marry him," he says, eventually, "and I've said yes."

"Ryan -" Spencer says. He can't help the pang of jealousy. He swallows it down, because Ryan's his best friend and he's actually _happy_ for the first time in what seems like forever. "Congratulations."

Ryan shakes his head. "Thank you," he says. "But Spencer -" he stops. "You can be civil to Brendon on my wedding day, because that's what I want, and then after that... if you can't be civil to Jon's friends you can't stay here any longer."

"Ryan," Spencer says, haltingly, but Ryan shakes his head. 

"I mean it," he says. "You're my best friend and that won't change, but Jon's going to be my husband." He squares his shoulders. "I'm not going to change my mind."

"What about Brendon?" Spencer says, belligerently.

"Jon's telling him the same thing." Ryan looks fierce. "You can stay here as long as you like," he says, "but you have to be civil to Jon's friends, and that includes Brendon."

"I can't -" Spencer manages. 

"Well then." Ryan swallows. "Stay for my wedding, and then -"

"And then I'll go," Spencer says, softly, and he doesn't think about not seeing Brendon again, because he _can't_. 

~*~

The wedding ceremony goes off without a hitch, two days before Christmas, with Spencer at Ryan's shoulder and Brendon at Jon's. The congregation is small, and largely uncaring, but Spencer feels his breath catch in his throat as Jon and Ryan say their vows. When he looks up, he catches Brendon swallowing quickly, his throat working. Spencer can't stop staring. He remembers their shared kisses, their one night together. What Spencer was willing to give up for the sake of a valet he'd fallen in love with, and suddenly he's so angry it hurts. 

They eat dinner together in Jon's dining room, with Ryan's mother and his godfather at one end and Jon and Ryan holding hands at the other. Brendon and Spencer are left staring at each other across the table, and Spencer knows that they're both leaving in the morning, neither staying for Christmas, neither able to put a stop to the animosity between them. He ducks his head and picks at his food. It's delicious, but he doesn't want to eat. He wants to keep looking at Brendon. 

They start bickering under their breath about something (the food. Christmas. The weather.) and they can't keep it quiet, and Ryan and Jon start looking more and more frustrated. Spencer snaps at Brendon because he can't _not_ talk to him, he wants to stand up and press Brendon up against the wall and kiss him over and over. He can't wait to leave. Brendon makes him so _mad_. 

In the end, Ryan hisses, " _Spencer_." 

Spencer swallows, and shakes his head. "Sorry," he says, frustratedly. "I need to get some air."

He goes outside onto the terrace and paces up and down the flagstones. The sky looks heavy and gray.

"What is your _problem_ ," Brendon says, following him outside. 

"It's _you_ ," Spencer says, and they start to argue, and Spencer's stomach hurts because he's so mad, and he just can't do this any more, he really can't. He can't be here any more. In the end Spencer says, "Fine. I'm just going to leave right now. I'm not going to ruin Ryan's wedding day. You can tell Ryan to send my luggage on after me." He stalks away from Brendon and goes to get his horse and his coat and rides off across the fields. 

It's only when he's far enough away from the house that he can barely see it in the distance that he realizes just how cold it is, and just how close it is to snowing. He slows his horse down and looks back towards Jon house—now Jon and Ryan's house. He feels—sad. He feels _sad_. Upset and frustrated and he doesn't know how Brendon makes him feel like this, but he _does_ , and he wishes it were different. He looks back again, and in between the first flakes of snow he can see another rider on horseback heading in his direction. 

It's Brendon. 

"What are you doing?" Spencer says, when Brendon gets closer. 

"Coming to get you," Brendon says. "Look, don't leave like this." The snow's falling heavier already, and Spencer's shivering, freezing cold. He isn't wrapped up warm enough to be out in this weather. 

"I _can't_ ," Spencer says, frustratedly. "I can't be there with you, I just _can't_."

Brendon's face shows something other than cold frustration, just for a moment. Spencer's heart clenches. 

"Fine," Brendon says, and he ducks his head. "Fine, I'll stay out of your way. Just. Don't leave like this. You can't travel in this weather."

"I've traveled in worse," Spencer says, doggedly. 

Brendon sighs. "How come you're so _pig-headed_?" he asks, frustratedly. "You might _die_."

Spencer deflates. "Okay," he says, nodding his head. "Okay."

"You'll come back with me?"

"Yes," Spencer says. "Yes."

~*~

The snow is falling so heavily that they can barely see in front of them, and it's a struggle even crossing the field. Brendon turns back to him, his scarf wrapped around his face, and yells, "We can't get back in this, it's a _blizzard_."

Spencer agrees, but he can't think of an alternative. It dawns on him that he's actually made a really stupid mistake, because they're trapped out in a snowstorm and nobody knows where they are, and they might _die_ because of his stupidity. 

"The old steward's lodge," Brendon yells. "Come on, that's closer."

 

The steward's lodge is an abandoned cottage just on the edge of the forest, with an outhouse where they can leave the horses for the night. It's been uninhabited for a good year or so, Brendon says, and although there are scraps of furniture and a few moth-eaten old blankets, there isn't any food and there aren't enough blankets for Brendon, Spencer _and_ the horses. Spencer takes a deep breath and says, "We can share."

Brendon swallows, and nods, and then they head back out into the snow with water for the horses and blankets to keep them warm. 

It's so cold and Spencer can't stop shivering. He's soaked to the bone and freezing and there is some wood inside but not enough for a fire large enough to keep them both warm and dry. They huddle in their wet clothing by the side of a paltry fire and Spencer thinks, _we might die like this_. 

"It's too cold," Brendon says, desperately. The snow is still coming down, so thick they can barely see through it, and it's dark and the only thing they have left to burn is the furniture. 

They start with an old chair, breaking it into pieces with the last of their energy and burning it piece by piece. Then Spencer looks the other way and starts to take his clothes off, because he's wet through and can't get warm like this. 

"It's the best idea," he says, quietly, and when he turns around, Brendon's facing the other way and pulling off his wet wedding clothes. 

They wrap themselves in the remaining blanket and pull the bed closer to the fire; they're burning the only remaining chairs. 

They sit in silence, and Spencer feels the press of Brendon's cold, clammy skin against his, and tries not to _want_. It doesn't work.

~*~

"I wanted to marry you anyway." Spencer says, a while later. They're warmer, and less damp, but outside the blizzard still stormed on. 

Brendon looks shocked. "What," he manages. 

"I was going to give up my _inheritance_ to marry you," Spencer says, "I'd decided. I was going to get Jon to tell me where you were. I was worried when you weren't working for him anymore. I was going to track you down and get you to marry me."

"Spencer, I -"

"I loved you," Spencer says, softly, "but you weren't who I thought you were."

"Neither were you," Brendon says, equally quietly. "You lied too."

Spencer's arms are wrapped around Brendon, and Brendon's head is pillowed on Spencer's shoulder. It's quiet, and _they're_ quiet, and it's tense and a little scary but also, nice. 

"I know," Spencer says. 

And then Brendon strokes at Spencer's cheek and presses his mouth to Spencer's, and his lips are cold.

Spencer slides his hand down Brendon's chest, and tugs him closer, touching his mouth to Brendon's skin. 

Brendon's head tips back, baring his throat to Spencer's mouth. It's easy, after that.

~*~

When Spencer wakes up, the fire's burning low and it's still dark outside. It's chilly, because the blanket isn't big enough for the two of them. Brendon's pressed against his side, his arm across Spencer's chest. 

Spencer shifts, clambering out from under the blanket to build up the fire. He's naked, and shivering, and when he's finished, Brendon holds out the blanket so that Spencer can dart back underneath, plastering himself to Brendon's side. 

"I think it's stopped snowing," Brendon says. "We should be able to get back to the house in the morning."

"Good," Spencer says. His stomach rumbles; he's starving. 

"When we get back..." Brendon starts. 

"Marry me," Spencer interrupts, his fingers in Brendon's hair. "When we get back, marry me."

Brendon closes his eyes. "We fight all the time," he says. 

"I know," Spencer admits. "I know, and I don't care. I can't be without you."

"You've been so mad at me," Brendon says, softly. 

"Yeah," Spencer says. "And you've been mad at me."

"I was trying to help Jon out by being his valet," Brendon tells him. "There are all those rumors about him, and they're not true. He's wonderful. I was trying to help. I didn't know I was going to meet you. If I'd known—I wouldn't have done it."

"Me neither," Spencer says. He pulls the blanket tighter around them, and Brendon kisses at his jaw. Spencer cups Brendon's face in his hand and kisses him. "I was only trying to help Ryan."

~*~

"Is that a yes?" Spencer says, later on, when they're saddling up the horses to brave the snow-covered fields between them and Jon and Ryan's house. 

"Yes," Brendon says, and smiles.

~*~

Brendon and Spencer get back home to Ryan and Jon's, and Spencer apologises for taking off like that, and Brendon apologises for driving him to it, and they hold hands shyly and say that they've got something to tell them. Ryan and Jon look on wide-eyed as Eliza hugs them both very hard and asks if she can be a flower girl at their wedding. 

And then they all spend Christmas together wrapped up warm in Jon's library, with Eliza falling asleep in Jon's lap, and Brendon and Spencer talk about their wedding and get sarcastic and stupid with each other, and then they all live happily ever after. 

The end. 

 

Edit: I forgot to explain the rumors surrounding Jon! So.... he married a childhood friend who had gotten herself Into Trouble; she was in love with a man who cared little for her, and who left her pregnant and alone. Jon married her to give her respectability; she had the baby and was out for a ride one day when her horse threw her, and she died. The rumor mill had done the rest, and Jon had retired from the public eye to allow Eliza to grow up in peace.


End file.
